It’s 2:42pm Sunday, January 19th.

It’s getting cold here in Austin, Texas.

A “polar vortex” is about to blanket the country. My weather app says 4 days of freezing. LA’s air still holds the charred remains of 40,000 acres burned, our next president just released his own shit coin that capped at 30 billion dollars;

and I still can’t talk.

Okay I can talk, but it hurts.

Sometimes I’ll try to say something to myself when no one is around, hoping to feel my natural voice, find it's not there, and softly cry a few tears of self-pity.

It's been hard.

But because of my pained speech, I’m more awake than I have been in a long time.

By awake I mean, less likely to run my autopilot identity.

If our identity is a compulsion, it is an addicted. That’s the 21 and up kind of karma.

It’s a slow process; waking up. It’s kinda psychotic (I wish there was a word less startling than psychotic but more vibrant than neurosis).

Whatever you call it, it’s disorienting.

Speech now being uncomfortable, I talk less. I think in language less.

Specifically, the kind of thinking that happens when we’re expecting to speak. It’s a kind of thinking that pretends to listen, but often doesn’t.

It's been illuminating how much I can hear when I don't want to speak.

And I've been listening to where ever my whisper points me during this voice initiation.

The last week has looked likes this:

I write to figure out what I think. I've spent this last week consuming a lot of new information, so I'm going to use this space to distill what I've taken away from all this.

I suppose I can start from the end and work backwards.

Yesterday was a special day.

I started by reading ‘Built From Broken’ which felt like the least significant thing that happened yesterday. The take away from that book is that the best thing I can do for my injury-prone-ness is to do resistance training. The one useful take-away from this book is the morning mobility sequence. That is something I am going to start doing.

I have to find a place to put it. I will.

The next thing I read was the Oxygen Advantage, and that was a significant book. I loved a lot of things about it, but the fact that it introduced an objective test in the first few chapters (BOLT), and used that test to outline specific levels of progress felt incredibly satisfying.

Note to self: take the time and care to create something similar for the Dharma Artist Collective x ability to use the shimmer with wakeful compassionate intention.

The main take-aways of reading the Oxygen Advantage are:

1. ​Dharma Breath is great for concentration, but
2. The Oxygen Advantage Protocol is better for rehabilitation,
3. because most of us over-breathe (via volume) and the dharma breath cadence doesn’t rehab this.
4. The most effective way to rehab this (for me), the 80/20, is to practice nasal brisk walk/light jog for 30 to 60 minutes a day + mouth tape at night.
5. The nasal breathing running is a keystone habit for me (I had synchronistically started Haruki Murakami's running memoir 2 days earlier).
6. I also see that built into the Oxygen Advantage is self-hypnosis, specifically practiced during the running

So a commitment to the BOLT40 has commenced (to get my BOLT score to 40).

This will be woven into the SLOW78 course and teaching, because it is what is arising.

The next book is where an epiphany struck.

As a part of my voice initiation, a friend guided me to check out self-hypnosis.

It started with me watching Dr. David Spiegel on Aubrey’s podcast, then I watched Huberman’s podcast with Dr. Spiegel. ​

Once I saw Spiegel hypnotize two people, I felt something click in me the same way after I saw Richard Schwartz do parts work on a few podcasters.

While I haven’t yet tried to hypnotize someone (yet), I still didn’t have a good grasp and how to hypnotize myself. So I talked to ChatGPT to find the best books on self-hypnosis that are grounded in scientific principles.

I, by grace and maybe taste, started reading this book.

While not great (sorry, no offense), it is the first book I’ve ever read exploring the science of hypnotism (and self-hypnotism), and an insight struck me.

My most recent psychedelic experience has been hard to put into words. In fact, when I started to try to write about, in order to even begin, I had to create a new word for myself.

I needed a word for when an inner image is so potent that it causes a somatic response (I ‘saw’ myself in utero and felt it and it changed me).

Turns out, there has been a word for this for over 100 years, and it was named by the inventor of hypnotism as the key mechanism for why hypnosis works.

It’s called the Ideo-Motor Reflex. It is the deliberate use of inner images to create somatic responses.

It is real. It can be used to perform surgery without anesthesia.

It is also an ability that can be trained and improved (Gorassini and Spanos, 1986; Spanos, 1991)

If you’re interested in training and using the power of hypnosis, I can save you a lot of reading (although I’ll be writing more deeply about this in coming weeks).

Train your Ideo-Moter Reflex.

I think of it as the Imago-Soma Game (because it is the highly focused use of an inner image to altar and augment somatic processes).

As this started to crystallize, the epiphany came.

I remembered a podcast I heard years ago of a blind man who could do incredible feats of strength. What he described doing was exactly what the creator of Hypnosis called the Ideo-Motor Reflex.

There was never any mention of self-hypnosis, but after reading ‘The Science of Hypnosis’ for 2 hours, I could see it was the exact same thing.

So again, with the help of ChatGPT; I was able to find this podcast. I also discovered a documentary about this man, Richard Turner.

I watched this documentary last night, then re-listened to the podcast as I fell asleep.

There is no one reading this who would not benefit from studying this man's mental models.

That's why next week I’m going to do a ‘Dharma Artist Profile’ on Richard Turner.

For now, I’ll leave you with a couple gems:

1. ​Watch this documentary​
2. ​Listen to this podcast.
3. Ask yourself, “If Richard Turner’s spirit entered my body and connected intimately with my unique dharma, what would he start doing today to make that potential real?”
4. Maybe start to do that thing

PS. In the documentary I noticed Richard was doing a diction exercise before performing. Again, with the help of ChatGPT, I created one for myself.

I don't want to get ahead of myself, but after practicing it twice I was able to get my voice pretty close back to normal for a few lines.

I haven't strung more than a few words together that have sounded natural in 6 weeks.

Will continue to explore this.

For the curious, here is the diction exercise ChatGPT made for me:
​
​Alphabet Vocal Warm-Up

A: Annoying alligators are always aggressive.

B: Big brown bears baked banana bread.

C: Clever clowns climb cloudy cliffs.

D: Daring dragons dance during dinner.

E: Elegant elephants eat endless eggplants.

F: Five frantic frogs flipped fiercely.

G: Green geckos glide gracefully.

H: Happy hippos hop high hurdles.

I: Interesting iguanas invent intricate illusions.

J: Jumpy jackals juggle jolly jellybeans.

K: Kind kangaroos kiss kids kindly.

L: Lazy lions lounge in lovely lagoons.

M: Many mischievous monkeys make mighty messes.

N: Naughty narwhals navigate near neon nets.

O: Old owls observe orange octopuses.

P: Playful pandas pick purple pineapples.

Q: Quick quails quietly quack questions.

R: Rowdy raccoons raid red raspberry rows.

S: Six slippery snakes slither silently.

T: Tiny turtles tiptoe through tall tulips.

U: Unusual unicorns utter unique utterances.

V: Vivacious vultures visit vibrant villages.

W: Wild wolves whistle while wandering west.

X: Xenophobic xylophones x-ray extra eXcuses.

Y: Young yaks yawn yesterday’s yellow yams.

Z: Zesty zebras zoom zealously.

How to Use It

1. Speak each phrase slowly and clearly, enunciating each word.

2. Gradually increase your speed while maintaining articulation.

3. Focus on exaggerating the mouth movements to fully engage the lips, tongue, and jaw.

Song I'm Listening on Repeat

​Caitlyn did not like this one being on repeat for 2 days.​

Quote I'm Enjoying

"Any choice can be the right choice if it is embraced fully."
-Pantheon, on Netflix <--- best show I've seen in a long time

Weekly Journal Prompt

“If Richard Turner’s spirit entered my body and connected intimately with my unique dharma, what would he start doing today to make that potential real?”