I spent six hours yesterday looking at the child sex trafficking network on this planet.

These six hours are added to a total of hundreds that I’ve given to try and understand evil, psychopathology, and child abuse. Not true crime documentaries or sensational youtube conspiracies, rather, psychiatric case studies, award-winning investigative journalism, court documents, and survivor testimony.

Why do I do this?

I am naive and sincere when I say I want a renaissance. If humanity is a collective body, we have a life-threatening parasite in our guts.

So when something like the January 30th, 2026 Epstein emails surface into our collective fever dream, I carve some intentional space to look a little deeper and digest a bit more.

Every time I do, I cry. They aren’t helpless tears, they are tears that dissolve complacency. It’s easy to accept the subtle rolling fog of confusion and laziness that comes with scrolling, take-out, and downers -- until I remember by looking at evil.

I look until the primordial voice sends me the bill:

"Until those who love children learn to organize as well as those who abuse children, this will continue."

What does reading that sentence stir in you?

I shiver like I'm before a deity I can barely stand to look at; so I kneel, and I accept the assignment.

Become someone capable of contending with billionaires, attorneys, majority house leaders, presidents, intelligence agents, and three-letter-agency directors.

For most, that might be a crushing amount of responsibility, but for those who dare to care enough to try, it begins with facing our modern spiritual fragility.

Then we commit to growing a Renaissance, piloting dharmic egregores, and learning how to tell new stories that change the myths that make this aeon we live in.

And learning to look at horror is the preface.

The Alchemy of Horror is Lucidity

Horror is a brutally effective medicine for waking up.

And the default programming of our current culture is somnambulance.

You know what I’m talking about.

You have peak experiences where you remember the truth. You know what you need to do, and you know why it must be done. The beauty and clarity is so exquisite you know you will never forgot.

It takes 4 or 5 of these peak experiences for us to start to appreciate that we will forget, so we begin to design a life built to help us remember more frequently.

Have you seen the movie Memento? The protagonist is us.

The medicine of horror is easiest to see when we look at our dreams.

Most people claim they have never had a lucid dreamed, but it isn’t true.

All of us, especially as kids, have had nightmares so terrible that they ‘wake us up’ in the dream and then we consciously force the dream to end.

Nightmares are confessions that in each of us is slumbers the gift of instantaneous lucidity.

However, I admit that my approach to this is a bit intense.

If you are someone that wants to start looking at the darkness, but don't want to do it alone, and if you're honest, would prefer some play and joy woven in, I recommend you try Caitlyn's The Slayers Club.

Caitlyn is a genius, and she went to Hell in 2025 and came back with a protocol, myth, and medicine bag. In a way I can't, she is able to weave her lessons with a sense of childlike imagination and playfulness that is frankly the mark of high magick.

So if you want to bring a little more lucidity to your life and to stop looking away from the darkness in you and in our culture, join her class. You have until this sunday.

I'll be there too.

And thank God for the ever-returning dawn.

Song I'm Listening on Repeat

​The Immaculate Deception ​

Dharma Artist Highlight

One of my favorite writers is Brandon Sanderson, and this talk he gave on AI and art is the best take I've seen so far. I've found myself thinking about and sharing his main point with many friends this past week.

Check it out.

Quote I'm Enjoying

On Jung looking for and finding his soul:​
​"The reality was a little different. years earlier he had gone in search of his soul, then found her. Now she wouldn't leave him alone."​
-Peter Kingsley

Weekly Journal Prompt

What systems have you designed in your life to help you wake up?

(if you don't create your own systems, culture will give you it's systems).